psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
mstryder: Maybe if period pain burned calories it would be worth it
Let's do something insane like save the world.:... →
tony-wiseau: atkid: everyflight-beginswith-afall: weaponizedwit: cutintostars: I like how it’s “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “Thor: The Dark World” and then Iron Man is just like, fuck the bullshit, we’re just callin’ this thing “Iron Man 3”. Because a…
wreck-it-rogers: The fact that Robert Downey Jr is threatening to leave Marvel unless Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett basically all his Marvel buddies get a pay raise really shows you that he is a great man, a human being, and never thinks of himself above others even if he jokes that he is above everyone else all the time.
me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
mensrightsactivist: my mom refused to buy me ice cream because she said we need to go on a diet but she just walked in on me making a chocolate milkshake out of ice and cocoa powder and i saw it. i saw the fear in her eyes. im adapting and she knows that i will soon be unstoppable
But if a mirror ever makes you sad you should know that it does not know...– Kabir (via cosmoknaut)
shikajika: “Kids can’t learn about sexuality and gender because it’s too scary or confusing for them” yeah because YOU told them they there are ONLY straight men and straight women from the age of three and then used that limited scope an an excuse to carry on dodging the subject. I found the seven times table scary and confusing but I still had to do about 20 exams about it
pizza: sherlockedinpurgatory: *turns out lights and lights candles* *stands in front of mirror* pizza pizza pizza *climbs out of your mirror* wassup dawg
dumbledore: slytherin wins the house cup.
slytherin: WOO! VICTORY!
dumbledore: haha wait I forgot, 100 points to harry potter for breathing.
pizza: high-self-esteem: fatwink: all i want is pizza and high self esteem hello hello